Loss & peace

There is lots I can say about HM's progress and such, but today my mind is elsewhere.

Today, my uncle passed away.  I struggle for the right words, because his battle was brief and lengthy.  What is important for me to say here is that my uncle was a quiet man, who said little and stayed in the background, but for me he was a hero.  I made a big mistake by not telling him that while I had the chance, I don't even know why.  I even said a couple times recently that I should write him. Thank him. And I didn't, and now it is too late.  So because I was hesitant to just say it to him. I will say it here for anyone to read and know.

Uncle D,
Thank you for who you were.  I know many people didn't see the man I did, so I just want to share.  When I was a young girl, I would go stay with him and his family.  He wasn't perfect, but he would talk to me and we would have amazing conversations.  He taught me to play Yatzhee, and how to make the dice roll just they I wanted them to.  It worked, I don't know how, but still to this day I remember his tip. (no I won't share.). He helped me see that there are many layers to a person. My uncle had his struggles and many people only saw that part of him.  But they were missing out.  Fast forward a couple years and I was 13 and struggling with stuff going on in my life.  It was Christmas time, things were hectic and I was sad, probably depressed.  I had been hurt by someone I loved and uncle D saw me, he knew.  He came to me, away from all the chaos of our family filled house and hugged me and he said the most important thing he could have.  He said that loved one..."they love you, they have made a mistake, but they love you & everything will be ok.". Thank you, thank you uncle D, because I hung on your words and believed you because of all the long conversations we had had in the summers before. And he was right, it was ok.  I never told anyone about that conversation and I never thanked him.  Looking back, he was telling me to look beyond mistakes, love unconditionally sometimes.  A great lesson, I cherish today.

He wasn't perfect, he had struggles, he made mistakes.  But he had a heart of gold and I regret not telling him how grateful I was, I am.

All I can be left with is the hope that he felt peace, that he is no longer in pain.  A small consolation.  You can judge people by the mistakes they make, but for the effort they give.

RIP Uncle Don and thank you.