Today I became a mommy

...7 years ago.  It is crazy how fast the time has flown by.  I can remember wanting to be a mommy since I was a little girl.  I remember being afraid that maybe it wouldn't be so easy.  I remember the morning I found out it wasn't that hard after all.  I remember telling S while he was still very asleep.  The amazing experience of being pregnant, telling our families, feeling her move, all seem like yesterday.  I remember her due date...coming...and...going.  And I remember waking S up at 3:30 in the morning and then deciding maybe it was a false alarm.  Seconds later, my water broke and off we went.  For all my excitement and hope and desire to be a mom, I was not prepared for labor.  Let's be honest, I am a wuss.  I didn't think I would make it.  I was terrified when the midwife said the baby might be 8+ pounds. And finally after 16 or so hours, T was born.  My first thought???  That is not an 8lb baby!  And she wasn't, just a tiny 6lbs 15oz.
I was exhausted.  But I distinctly remember watching her, just staring.  And her Daddy, well he was smitten, and I loved watching that (still do).  Labor was hard, but from the second she was born, T has been the easiest child anyone could ask for.  She was an easy baby, quiet, inquisitive and patient.  And she really still is.  She is wicked smart (and I'm not just saying that cuz she's my kid), silly, kind, beautiful and hilarious.  She has a heart of gold and it amazes me how much empathy and compassion she already shows at her young age.  She loves her Daddy fiercely and the rest of us too.
Part of me hates how fast she has grown up, but at the same time I am excited to see her grow and learn.  I have no doubt she will have a big impact on this world, that she will grow up ans still be my smart, beautiful, silly, sweet, dancing, singing girl.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY T!  WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

And in other news, it is almost JUNE!!!  Anticipation is growing and I am finding myself daydreaming about when it is finally time.  I have started purchasing some things for the gift baskets and I JUST CAN'T WAIT!   T had really wanted him home for her birthday, so I am hoping maybe I can tell her we are finally on the home stretch as a consolation prize!

May...moving right along!

YAY, it's MAY!  My favorite month of the year!  Mostly because it is my birthday, and Miss T's birthday, the weather is beautiful and at least this year it means we are 1 more month closer to H. 
Have I mentioned that I go back & forth between calling H, well H and M.  One is his American name, one his Korean.  I am quite attached to his Korean name, and feel it best represents him, but I have read in several places giving a "traditional" American name is suggested too.  For several reasons I am sure.  1--it allows us to give him part of who he is, which is nice but not uber important.  2--while he will be Korean, he will also be American, and I have read where several Koreans, adoptees and "transplants" feel it is helpful to have that name to match part of his identity.  Anyway, M, is his name and will always be, and much like my others go by more than one name (i.e. "buggy) I believe M/H will too!

Ok, I digress.  It is May.  I will admit I really hoped and prayed for a little May birthday miracle that M/H would have his paperwork submitted in May, but I knew it was a looonnnnggggg shot.  And shocker?!?!?!  I was right, he was not submitted.  Funny thing though (read not.that.funny), somehow I accidentally got a generic email from our agency saying his paperwork WAS submitted.  I of course knew it was a mistake but still got a little giddy.  Thankfully, S, the sound mind he is tamed my excitement.  I spoke to the agency today and she was quite sorry for the mix up.  It's ok, mistakes happen and maybe today was a great day of joy for another family, who had thought they had somehow been missed.

June....I am feel hopeful for June, more hopeful than I had in May.  We are in the single digits as far as where we are in line, and it seems very possible June will be our month!  S called that.  So what does that mean?  Well if M/H's paperwork is submitted in the beginning of June than it would be about a month for approval (maybe 4-5 weeks) then another 2-4 until we can TRAVEL!!!!!!!!!! So mid-July ish maybe.  If we aren't submitted in June than we will hope for July and travel right before somebody's big 2nd birthday in August.  I am hoping for July travel!

In other news, we have stayed busy, with P's t-ball, and practice SOLs, work, work and more work.  Miss T will turn 7 at the end of the month!  I look at her daily and wonder where the time has gone.  She has grown up so much.  She is a smart, sweet, intelligent, compassionate kid.  yesterday she and I were on our way home from Girl Scouts (too close to bedtime) and we were talking about H/M coming home and how excited we are.  She kept saying "I can't wait to see his sweet face!"  So I explained to her that adoption comes out of a lot of loss and H/M will experience a lot of sadness as he makes this transition.  She listened and seemed to really grasp the reality of all of it.  She then said, "maybe one day we can all go to Korea and H/M can visit his foster family. And maybe one day his birth mom can come visit us here!"  Man, I love that kid.  She is amazing.  I am always in awe of the insight she has at a young age and can't wait to see her impact on the world.

Sooo, I hope to update here before her birthday, and be better about keeping up.  We are certainly researching travel stuff and that feels real.  We will end May with a birthday spa day for my girl and head into June with a pre-school graduation and anticipation of some Korean paperwork!!!

Night!