brood

brood
the only time these feet are still

Monday, April 25, 2011

information

Today, I awoke to S saying "they moved #6."  What I said?  S told me that we had received an email that #6 had been moved to a new foster home, because of illness in his first foster family.  I was immediately overcome by sadness.  I had to get up and get T to school, but when I got to work, I read the email myself.  In a short casual email, our SW informed us that due to illness #6 had been moved and some basic info about where he is now placed.  I shared with a coworker and broke down.  I am so sad.  Sad for him, to have to be moved and readjust, only to move again (in what I hope won't be too terribly long).  Sad for his foster mom and her family.  Was this a decision she had to make? Her family? The agency who placed him?  Will she be ok?  On top of illness, she must now grieve the loss of someone who has been with her (and requiring a good bit of her attention). 

It also got me thinking about his mother (birth mother, first mother, I feel mother is clear enough at this point for me).  I so want to meet her, know her, thank her, share with her, love her.I want her to have pictures and info about him once he gets home. 

Today, I realized how much I am attached to more than just the face of sweet #6, but with all of those out there that love him and care for him.  It has been so enlighenting to feel my love, concern and protective nature grow each day for him, and for those in Korea I have yet to meet. 

I hope one day I will have met them all, including his first foster mom, but for now, I just hold her in my thoughts and hope that she is ok.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A Birthday kind of day! And some mixed feelings.

Today was baby D's 2nd birthday! We had already celebrated some last weekend and have family celebrations planned for this coming weekend and next, so today was pretty quiet other than the numerous phone calls to wish her a happy day. She did get here 1st skinned knee (hardly a present one wants!)
On the other side of the world (sort of) someone else celebrated today, his 8 month birthday! I hope he had a wonderful day! I am reminded that his mom may have also thought about today, and that he is 8 months today. I wish I could reach out to her and hug her, I cannot imagine the feelings she may be experiencing.
An interesting mix of emotions today, with all of these things to contemplate.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Random Ramblings...

I am making it a priority to keep up with this blog.  I don't want it to be something we just update once a month, so I hope people will still follow it, when there are the occasional random ramblings by me.  Although, I guess truly, it is all random ramblings...by me!  Oh well!

I had a great, thoughtful, sweet sincere post (written on my Ipad, although it is a pain to type on that thing) and when I went to preview it, it DELETED.  That does.not.make.me HAPPY.  So now I will try to recreate it, from my computer, and even though they are still my original thoughts, well, they just don't seem as sincere as they did the first time...just flowing out without much thought.  But, it was good, so here it goes:

First, I am really grateful for others who blog about their adoption experiences.  It helps me "find my way" and connect with others virtually who have offered me insight and guidance.  To the few of you I have reached out to, THANK YOU, truly you have been so helpful.  That is part of the reason I wanted to write this blog, to document this experience, and all of our life experiences, to help others and to be able to reflect back on where we have been!

I recently had a friend experience a great loss in their family.  They told me "Call your mom and tell her you love her. Tell her all the things you have always wanted to say."  Those words have stayed with me for several days.  And I am taking their advice, and taking it a bit further.
    I am eternally thankful to our friends and family who have been supporting us throughout this adoption journey. 
To my mom:   Thank you Mom, for all that you have done, do and will do.  I don't say enough how much I appreciate all of it, you. 
To the others (you know who you are):  Thank you for sharing our excitement, joy, frustration about the timeline, and love our our newest most adorable addition, AKA #6.  Not everyone we know, knows about the journey we have been on for the last year, but those that do have really made it that much better for their contributions.  From the co-workers that are helping me organize a yard sale to fundraise, to those that wrote us letters of support, financially assisted us, to my favorite: the friends that upon seeing #6's face, immediately responded, "I love him already!" 
The love is the greatest, and I cannot wait for #6 to experience the "village" here waiting for him.
It may be a long wait until we meet you, #6, but we think of you everyday, love you so much already, and have quite the extended family excited for your arrival.

Random ramblings...

I want to keep up this blog, not let it be something I post on once a month. So, I hope people will still read it when I have my random scatter posts!
I really wanted to point how nice it has been to read about others journeys and "meet" people in the virtual world that can offer their words of wisdom. So to the few I have already reached out to, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, it really has been so helpful!
The other thing I am really thankful for is all the amazing support we have received from our friends and family around us. Now, not everyone knows what we have been hard at work on for the last year, but those that do have been AMAZING!!! Their words of support, true interest in our journey and process, and utter excitement at our adorable new addition. They have sympathized with our long wait, and offer us a shoulder to lean on. THANK YOU to those of you, and you know who you are! There are also so many people who are eager to help us with raising so of the much needed money to complete this adventure. Co-workers and friends & family all donating items for a yard sale that they are helping me plan for June. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! We are eternally grateful for your support, I'm sure I do not show it well enough!
And speaking of not everyone knowing, I want to share, shout it from the mountain tops, but at the same time, want to find a creative way to share. Still trying to work that one out.

#6 is already so loved, it makes me smile every time I think about it. It might be many months before we meet you M.R.K.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

A name...

What's in a name?  Well in this family A LOT. (read: RULES).  With 3 little cherubs already in the family, I am finding it harder and harder to find a name for #6.  See with each kid, we thought long and hard about a name, see below for further details :)  Anyway, so we have been trying to agree on a name for #6 and haven't found one.  We are of course, very happy with the name he comes with, and it will remain part of his name.  I guess we just feel that we should also contribute a piece of his name....so to work we go!
Here are some of the ridiculous, insane, impossible rules I like to apply to name picking:
1) not too common
2) not too short
3) no names with "built in" nickname i.e. Christopher or Michael
4) Cannot begin with the same letter as any other C kid
5) Shouldn't end with the same letter/sound as any other C kid
6) has a strong meaning

...on a side note, I do not necessarily have anything against names that have a "built in" nickname.  I in fact have one of those names.  The deal is from day 1 my parents called me the nickname, and so the original name is somewhat foreign to me.  There is nothing wrong with it (in fact it is quite beautiful) but it never felt like it was ME.  So, I just decided if I picked a name, I would use that name.  In S's case, his mother never called him by the nickname, but that doesn't stop people from shortening it.  Sometimes, people will call him by the nickname and I will think "who are they talking about? I don't know anyone named that???"  Then I realize!  DUH!  So between the 2 of us, we felt pretty strongly about that!!  Plus, if you know us, we are a tad neurotic!!! just a tad, really!!!

Sooo, if anyone wants, please feel free to make some suggestions.  Here are the letters to avoid: T, P, D, and end sounds of y, n, and r.  Easy peasy, right?!?!?!?!?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Finally, some sunshine!

Thank goodness today provided some decent weather!  I am not sure that all 5 of the "C's" could have stayed cooped up for another weekend.  Today, we went for a walk, and got a RARE glimpse of affection between P and Baby D.  It was so sweet, I am glad I could capture it for proof. 
Otherwise around here we are all trying to clear up the last of the cold weather bugs and keep up with the laundry that never ends!  As far as the adoption road, thank GOODNESS the Government decided to stay open.  I am entirely too impatient to deal with a shutdown, and what that may do to our pending Immigration paperwork.  I did get an email confirmation that our application arrived at its government destination, (further clarified by the LARGE withdrawal from my bank account).  As I keep saying, "ok, now that should be the last of the big payments for awhile," I don't even believe myself anymore.  Now I have become obsessed with timelines: how long til our letter comes, how long until the legals, will we really wait a whole year to travel??????  Too many questions, I really do not have idle time to obessively read about other's timelines, but I CANNOT stop myself. 
So here it is Sunday evening, and it is back to work again tomorrow.  On a positive note, Mondays are the days we remove a link from our paperchain to M.R.K (AKA the 6th "C").  So that will have to be progress for now!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The other occupants of this house...

Well, he did do a good job decribing the majority of the "C" family, too bad he left himself and the fur kids out.  "S" is the dad around these parts!  He is also the comic relief when the rugrats aren't on their game.  He is the cook, housecleaner, yard worker, and basically all things domesticated, because, well, I am NOT. 
As for the rest of the occupants, we have 1 obnoxious dog, Dieka, a Belgian Malinois.  For those not familiar, that means "not a good housepet" in some other language.  She is almost 10 now and sort of settling down.  We also have a neurotic cat, Quimby, who would really rather we just all go away permanently, and 1 lone surviving sea monkey.  Sea monkeys by the way, might be the BEST PET EVER!!!  I mean, they don't get in the trash, don't shed, don't even have to eat everyday and make no noise!  LOVE IT!!!

So I wanted to start a blog, not that anyone wants to hear what we have to say, but as a way to document this great journey we are on.  I have gotten such encouragement and knowledge from reading other blogs about families pursuing adoption, that well, I wanted to share too!!!  We are in for the long wait, and I am hoping to make the best of it.  Next entry will be all about our newest addition, but for now I will say, we are hoping that in the next year, while we wait the arrival of C #6, we can use this time to raise some money to help with this endeavor.  One thing I have definitely learned is even though it is a lot of money at once, it is doable, it is worth it, and money cannot be an obstacle.  So we will figure it out and find the money, because not having #6 isn't an option.  He is meant for this family and we are excited to have him.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Young artists, actors, ...drama queens

Sooo, Let's start with a general description of the people living in this kingdom.  T is the mommy.  In case anyone was ever not sure our 23 month old, D.,  will reinforce that in less than 4 minutes because she stalks mommy constantly and approximately every five minutes clings to her leg and yells at me when I try to get her to pry away and come to me.  The 4 year old, P.,  is an equal opportunity manipulator evidenced by his ability to turn on the pouty face whenever he is told "No", about ANYTHING.  Unfortunately it doesn't end there, the face is the beginning followed quickly by the stomping and the self imposed exile, "I'm going to my room."  Um, okay.  The oldest, T. is a budding artist in all manner of mediums, crayon, marker, colored pencil, sidewalk chalk, drama (as in queen).  You know, just like the greats. 
     While playing in the front  yard today T decided to draw chalk portraits of the family and as she has done for me recently she drew a picture of mommy with triangle eyes.   She explained to mommy that these are to show mommy's angry face. HA! finally I'm not the only one T thinks is mean.
     On another note.  Is it all parents or just me who still tunes to Ratatouille and other such fare even after the mini monsters have long been snoring.  I mean, kids' stuff is entertaining and all.  I refuse to feel emasculated.  Big T however likes to take these opportunities to point out my childishness.  So!
     Did I mention that we are in the thick of adding another one to the insanity that is our life?  Our newest is currently living with his foster family outside of Seoul awaiting our ridiculously repetitive and soul draining emmigration paperwork both with Korea's government and the U.S. Department of State.  Yeah, 'cuz there's a well oiled machine.  In the meantime we get, well, we get nothing.  More forms to notarize and a boat load of debt, see because the great thing about international adoption is, you get to pay up front while someone else gets to continue to raise your child while you hold your breath through ninety six shades of blue waiting on the absurditity of beauracracy.  Oh did someone say those slack a^&*s in the government are going to shut down. YAY!!!!!!

Friday, April 1, 2011

A looong way to go

Okay, so we have a lot going on what with the three wee ones, jobs, finishing an annoying undergraduate degree 17 years in the making, reinventing the wheel.  You know nothing out of the ordinary.  Oh wait, and we're waiting for our paperwork to get through the excruciating minefield that is the international adoption process like so many others who ease their stress by blogging. 
Just warming up to this blogginess so stand by for some cake and cookies and junk and stuff......